Proxy
by Parabola Beam
Summary: A substitute is never as good as the real thing, even if it can sometimes get you closer to it. Neru/Haku/Spice!Len, focus on Neru/Haku, with hard lemon within.


**Proxy**

"He seems like a very nice boy," she'd said not a half hour earlier.

Now he and Neru were naked on the bed, waiting for her to join them.

"Come on," Len cooed, "let's see what you've been hiding under that frumpy sweater all your life."

Haku and Neru were inseparable, and that's what made this so hard. Every instinct was telling her that she did not want any part of this: that she was nowhere near ready, but Neru's expectant smile rooted her to the spot. On top of that, Haku's self-consciousness kicked in when she saw Neru naked. She was sure her own body would not be as slender and firm, anywhere near as beautiful. Neru was one thing, but she had trouble even looking at Len, acknowledging that he was a boy-a very naked boy-in the same room as them, waiting on her.

"She's kind of a dork," Neru supplied, smiling and walking over to her nervous friend, "but she just needs to be shown a good time. Come on, Haku, it's okay." Neru's hands took her waist, sliding underneath the sweater and rubbing the goosebumped skin beneath as she pulled it up and over Haku's head, flinging it aside. At Neru's behest, she'd started wearing a front-clasped bra, so she'd "always be ready", as if she even cared for such things, but she never thought Neru would be the one undoing it. Len was watching with a raised eyebrow, taking in the display. The bra was tossed aside, exposing her ample figure to them both. Neru was completely unabashed, drinking in the sight before smiling at Haku again.

"N-Neru..." Her face was positively florid from the depth of familiarity between them-she worried what might happen to it if she didn't stop and leave.

But she knew she wouldn't and it filled her with dread. Neru moved on to her skirt with almost too much ease. Haku blushed as her hands drew up her thighs, and finally the skirt was unzipped and forgotten on the floor. From his relaxed, upright position on the bed, Len whistled.

"Nice shape, angel." He winked and flashed a cocky grin. "You sure you've never used it?" Haku shook her head, wanting to cover herself up, but knowing it wasn't an option.

"That's about to change right now." Neru gave Haku an assertive shove onto the mattress, joining her between Len's spread legs. Haku looked at Neru because it felt like the only safe place to rest her gaze, on the person she at least _knew. _"Let's start with something easy." She was so nonchalant about everything, like discussing the lewd acts to come was nothing out of the ordinary. Haku remembered that for Neru it probably _wasn't_. Having her as a roommate was a bit unpredictable: she never knew when she'd get home, and when she did, she reeked of sex and sweat, other men from school or wherever else she got them.

She thought she knew better than this though. Neru tugged the sheet covering Len's hips down without a glimmer of hesitation, a mischievous look in her eye. Haku felt a little faint as she ran her hand along Len's erect length casually, licking her lips in preparation.

"Haku..." Neru smiled "...this'll be your first try, right?" It was crazy how she could carry a conversation so normally, while teasing Len to a deeper state of arousal.

"F-First try?" Haku knew where this was going, but she wanted to believe that Neru wouldn't ask this of her.

"Sucking cock."

Len chuckled at Haku's flummoxed expression. "Don't worry. We'll make sure you get a nice, long lesson."

Neru gave her palm a lick before rubbing it down his shaft; Len was gritting his teeth. "Don't take your eyes off me, Haku." She leaned over and delicately tucked some hair behind her ear. "I'll show you everything."

Haku watched, transfixed as her friend flicked her tongue out and actually began licking it, of all things. The very idea was something that made her stomach turn, and it felt so personal to just watch Neru doing it. It looked so easy for her, the way she roved her tongue over the tip and all around it, teasing the slit at the top before finally pushing her lips around it and lowering her mouth with a broken moan.

She could hardly hear Len over the noises Neru was making. How in the world did she manage to get it so far in her mouth, her throat? There was something obscenely erotic about the display, and she couldn't take her eyes off her friend's skilled movements. Neru pulled off right as Len was growing at his loudest.

"You should experience the next part firsthand," She pulled away a strand of hair that had gotten stuck to her lip gloss-and something else-in her efforts. "so Haku, let's see what you learned."

She was really put on the spot. Snapping out of her trance, she glanced down, then back to Neru, down again. When she brought a hand to her mouth and looked aside, she felt her hand being taken gently by Neru's.

"Relax. It's so easy." They looked up as Len made a sound of frustration-he looked impatient. Neru guided Haku's hand, curling her fingers around the firm, velvety weight between his legs. Instantly he gave a grateful moan, and shock trickled down Haku's spine. She was actually touching it now. This was beyond watching, so much so. The hand Neru wasn't using to guide hers found its way to the back of her neck, stroking slender fingers into her hair and beginning to pull her head down. Haku panicked.

"N-Neru...I-I've never-" She stopped: it was so close, round and fleshy and hard against her lips. Haku thought she might faint if it weren't for the firm grip in her hair, the strength of familiarity. Something slick was coating the surface of her mouth, she didn't want this at all-

"I'll make sure you do it right. Trust me." Haku was profoundly bewildered, but she didn't have a choice. She had to know what Neru was doing to herself, needed to understand why her friend did such depraved things. If Haku could spare her for even a little bit by doing this, she would. She parted her lips, ready to swallow Neru's burden.

The push was surprisingly harsh. Well-manicured nails dug into her scalp as she was driven downwards and pulled up again, rendering her scarcely able to draw breath as she choked and gagged over Len. Her eyes teared up, throat much too tight for such rigorous activity. The taste paralyzed her, the tang of sweat and flesh thick on her tongue. She desperately twisted the bedsheets in her fingers: there was nothing she could do to get Neru to stop, and the degree of helplessness she was experiencing at her hands gave her more butterflies in her twisting stomach than Len being full in her mouth. Neru's guiding hand slowed, but didn't lessen in intensity.

It was when she felt her weight atop her back that the heavy moans started spilling forth. Her friend's free hand drifted between her legs and hovered over her panties, the heat driving her mad until she felt fingers exploring her contours delicately, in contrast to the rough motions she was imposing on her head.

"Come on Haku," she hissed in her ear, pushing her head down farther, "open your throat." Neru growled harshly and gave her a languid stroke through her panties until Haku's gasp of surprise pushed her further down, yet not quite to the deepest point. Her body was trying to reject Len-she heard him groaning from how tight a fit it was-but her nether regions were very receptive to Neru's touches. Haku found herself choking Neru's name, indiscernable as it was, wanting only what she was giving. Haku wasn't sure if it was the heat and friction getting to her, but she found herself thinking that if she could take Len out of her mouth, it would be much more bearable. Her friend's moans mingled with her own as her hands roamed her virginal body.

Was it natural for Neru to get this into it?

Haku felt her grasping the hem of her underwear and she instantly began to struggle, eyes widening. Neru's face dipped against her neck with a smooth, long hum, and she paused dangerously over her ear.

"Let me. I won't hurt you."

She wanted to trust her again. Squeezing her eyes shut, she made a gurgled sound of compliance and allowed her to pull them down her thighs, spreading her legs anxiously. Len's voice sounded so far away, or maybe it was just Neru's being so close. She felt her hand ghosting over her bare skin, fingertips drawing closer to her center until they could caress the wet, soft folds of her womanhood.

Whatever she was doing, Haku did not want it to stop.

She began moaning loudly, relaxing further as Neru slid a finger inside. It was so tight that she felt a little sore, but it was the kind of sore that hungered for more stimulation. Neru was true to her word and kept the movement gentle, but she could tell that she was struggling to resist going further. Haku couldn't help herself, parting her legs wider as she contracted hard around her. A feeling of fuzzy warmth penetrated her, filling the back of her head and helping her ease down to her furthest point over Len. In her enthusiasm, her leg slid against Neru's, smooth and perfectly waxed. The contact brought a memory to the surface, of a particular night Haku happened to hear Neru getting home.

She was rather short of breath, eager to get into the shower, as was her nightly ritual. She always showered as soon as she got home. What stood out the most, however, were the fishnet stockings she had on, ripped so badly it was a wonder they stayed up. Haku had kept her concerns to herself: who was she to criticize her?

Now Haku was concerned for another reason entirely. Why did the thought of seeing her that way stir her so intensely?

Neru continued her dance of fingers that both guided and teased her until she was moaning to her deepest without abandon. She nuzzled a sultry giggle against her ear-it was almost like a _kiss_-and Haku could've melted right there if she hadn't tightened her hold on her hair.

"There you go, let him in..." She gave Haku a firm shove and held her down, forcing her to all but swallow Len whole. Her eyes watered quickly and she gagged hard in surprise, throat constricting around him. It was too much, she felt lightheaded and breathing was a struggle. It ended quickly as Len let out a guttural cry and she felt something hot and thick spurting into her mouth. The bitter salty taste coated her tongue and smothered her, prompting her to actually squirm under Neru's grasp. Almost immediately, she tugged Haku's head back up, freeing her, and supporting her from behind as she gasped for air.

"Mmm..." Neru glanced between Len and Haku, trailing her finger across the mouth of the latter and catching some essence that had oozed over her lips. "Hope you saved some for me...I'd hate to miss out on the fun." She swirled her tongue over the finger, ever the tease.

"Heh, of course." Len smirked as Haku's head lolled against Neru's shoulder. "You can always have an extra turn. But at this rate, I wouldn't be able to quench your positively ravenous thirst." He was a little breathless, a candid smirk on his face.

"I get it. You need a break?" Neru's voice had a friendly, flirtily bargaining tone to it. "What can we do to get you to your...fullest again?"

"Well it's funny you ask..." Len grinned and clasped his hands behind his head casually, "...because I've been dying to see you ladies kiss all night."

Haku's heart leapt to her throat. She wasn't sure how she felt about the request, but it wasn't a necessarily bad feeling. It was very apparent that Neru had no qualms with this request. She shifted to her side so they could face each other, giving Len a good view. Haku was shaking with anticipation, voice cracking as she tried to put something, anything into words. Face to face with her best friend, about to share a kiss. Granted, a kiss seemed innocent compared to the night's events, but it also seemed infinitely more intimate than anything Len and Neru usually had lined up.

Neru, never shy about making the first move, came forward to kneel with her thighs around Haku's hips, arms around her shoulders. The taller woman blushed deeply as she pressed close, forced to remember just how naked Neru was as firm nipples jutted against soft breasts.

"What's wrong?" She trailed her fingers up the back of her spine, forcing her to arch into her and look up into her face. Their lips were dizzyingly close. "Don't you want to kiss me?"

Haku surprised herself when she closed her eyes and brushed their lips together. Being with Neru like this filled her with so many feelings she couldn't name. Her touch gave her the most peculiar sensation, chills that melted as soon as they penetrated her. She broke the kiss with a soft gasp. Neru's mouth wandered down the side of her throat, kissing and nipping.

"You're so new to all this, aren't you?" Neru purred, nuzzling her pulse as Haku's moan reverberated in her throat. Her legs felt tighter around her hips, and she could feel one of Neru's hands sliding downward over a breast, cupping it softly and thumbing over the nipple, tweaking it and pressing it inwards.

"N-Neru!...Hahh-" Haku squeezed her eyes shut briefly as the fuzzy heat returned, body yearning for more. Neru's lips hovered over hers again, her strong eyes staring her down.

"Nothing wrong with a little experimentation, is there?" She pressed a searing kiss against Haku's lips, muting her throaty, needy moans. A subtle flick of the tongue, and it was only too easy to guide Haku onto her back, firmly trapping her against the bedsheets.

They'd always been close friends, but this was something different entirely, nothing like the chaste, friendly kisses on the cheek or forehead they'd sometimes shared. Len's taste between them felt so foreign: although she and Neru had never done anything like this, her friend's body was less of an assault on her nerves. She wondered when Neru had gotten like this, all skilled hands and temptuous mouth, lips, tongue-

"You've probably never even done it to yourself." Neru whispered fast, pushing into her again with her lips. She sounded so breathless and utterly wild, lusty. Her free hand moved to join the other, until they were both squeezing and teasing the heavy breasts playfully. Color flooded Haku's face: when had it gotten this far? She'd never have believed that Neru could work her like this, so intuitively and with such ease. In the corner of her eye, Len was looking on with a hungry expression, his hand stroking over himself as he watched. Neru's tongue moved ravenously within her mouth, the slickness reminding Haku of the feeling pooling between her legs. As if tuned to her thoughts, Neru lodged her knee directly against her there, smirking as fluid seeped over the skin.

"O-Ohh, Neru, wait, th-that's-" Haku burned with shame and tried to shift away, but her friend pressed on, insistent.

"You're close, aren't you?" Her knee stirred against her wickedly, making her shiver in ecstasy. Haku moaned unremittingly, knowing that Neru wanted to watch her go over the edge, and feeling inexorably, deeply aroused by the knowledge. She was finally seeing the carnal and raw Neru, the Neru that broke hearts, perhaps not even necessarily just those of others. Neru, who gave her body to everyone and heart to no one.

And now Neru was giving herself to Haku, condemning her to be one of the many that would never really know her.

So why was it so easy for her to reach her peak, to just give out under her sinfully skillful touches? Haku melted into the sheets with an exhausted moan, a bittersweet feeling settled over her splayed-out form, unable to smile back at Neru before she drifted into a weary, fitful sleep.

**...**

Haku blinked; it was dark, and her head felt fuzzy. The sound of soft breathing filled the room, and she tried to remember what had happened-

She moved under the thin sheet that was covering her, felt it slide over her naked body and it all came back to her. The scent of sex paralyzed her lungs, joining the warm weight on her chest. Haku rubbed her eyes, hearing Neru stir on top of her with a somnolent sniff and a sigh, wrapping her arms around Haku's shoulders and leaning into her, snuggling her into the sheets.

"You awake now?"

Haku nodded. "Wh-What...is...Len...?"

"Asleep. He has been for a while." Neru whispered, sitting up to stretch luxuriously, unashamed. Haku blushed intensely, but couldn't bring herself to look away. Neru chuckled and laid herself down beside her again, getting ready to go back to sleep, a carefree, dreamy look on her face.

How could she look so pleased, be so comfortable after...everything? Had it really meant so little to her-?

Instantly Haku regretted her line of thinking, biting down on her lower lip in a fruitless attempt to stop tears from rushing forth. She'd only done the things she did that night because of Neru, ready or not. Her mouth felt disgusting. Len's taste was stale on her tongue, suffocating.

"Haku...?" Neru reached a hand out, fingers brushing Haku's wet cheek. The contact broke almost instantly as she flinched away, eyes downcast fearfully.

"Do we..." Her voice shook terribly, lips trembling, "...do we have to sleep here?" She waited for an answer. Hearing none, she looked back up at Neru, her heart falling to pieces at the flash of utter hurt she saw in her dulled, gold eyes.

"No, no." Neru shook her head, forcing her mouth into a false smile, "Let's go home?" She was quick about climbing out of the bed and going around to gather her clothes, like she was trying to hide her face. Haku followed her example (again, she thought, a twisting feeling in her chest). It felt so good to be dressed again, in her own, familiar clothes.

"Here." Neru dug something out of her purse and held it out to Haku, once they were both clothed. She took it; a breath mint. Despite everything, she managed to smile. Neru knew her too well.

Did she really? It was too hard, Haku decided, popping the mint into her mouth, too hard to think about this right now. She was desperate to get out of the strange, dark apartment and hide under the safety of her own blankets.

They walked home in silence. It had to be a positively crazy hour of the morning, and under other circumstances Haku would ask Neru for the time, but they couldn't even look at each other.

Was this how it was going to be now? Together, but apart?

It was all her fault. She should've backed out of the room and gone home. Haku knew it was stupid. She didn't love Len.

It was the thought of waiting, waiting home alone for her friend to return and take her shower that kept her from refusing. For just once, she wanted to walk home with Neru, together, like they used to.

This was nothing like they used to.

They made it home, shedding their coats wordlessly and flicking on the lights.

Neru walked straight past the bathroom. That did it.

"Neru..." Haku's voice was so quiet that even she herself could scarcely hear it. But Neru heard, steps slowing to a standstill. Perhaps she had been waiting. Listening.

Wanting her to say something-

"I'm so sorry."

Haku covered her mouth and closed her eyes, body quivering with the strain of holding onto tears. She'd never heard her sound so weak, so defeated.

"I made you do stuff you didn't wanna do." She spoke so quickly, voice cracking. "I won't ever again, okay?" Haku nearly lost it as Neru's shoulders shook violently from the strength of a hiccup. "Please don't hate m...me." Her voice was so weak, diluted of all the confidence and strength Haku knew her for. "Good night." Neru stumbled down the hall clumsily, but Haku snapped out of her trance and caught up to her.

"W-Wait, Neru please-" She tugged her sleeve, and she stopped walking, almost eager to obey. Haku sucked in a shaky breath before blurting it all out at once. "I-I don't know how I feel about you!"

Without turning around, Neru looked at the ceiling, sniffing hard.

"It's too bad..." She sounded desperately remorseful, "...because...I know exactly how I feel about you."

The silence hung heavy over them, but nothing changed. Haku would not, could not let go.

"I tried not to. I really tried not to...feel how I did." Neru swallowed thickly, choosing her words carefully. "I looked everywhere for someone to replace you. It wasn't enough, I didn't know what else to do, I got carried away..." She paused. "I'm a slut." Neru turned around, eyes weak and dead, lips quivering as violent sobs overcame her. "H-Haku, I'm a...a slut." She repeated, breaking down completely and not resisting as Haku tugged her into an embrace.

Everything was spilling out of Neru at once, Haku frantically trying to hold her together. All the time she'd spent as a plaything for bored young men was catching up with her. Haku wanted to see the life in Neru's eyes again, the way she looked before she tried to become an adult too fast, with her truly glowing smile and peachy round cheeks.

When she didn't hate herself.

"Mnnh...nnh?" Neru's sluggish moan bloomed with shock as Haku's arms tightened around her arched back, pulling her into a kiss. It was her own fault that she'd let herself get too jealous of Neru's new friends to stay close to her, keep her safe. It was she who should hate herself, if anyone, Haku thought bitterly, for giving Neru no choice but to find comfort in people that would use her like a cheap sex toy and toss her aside or pass her around when they were done.

"H-Haku, n-no-!" She cried with a throaty, frustrated rasp, wriggling in her arms. "You don't have t-to pity me! You don't n-need to do anything else you don't want to-!"

"I know." Haku breathed over her lips, quickly sealing her mouth over them once more. The effervescent flutter of Neru's heart through her chest thrilled her, that feeling of her coming alive again in her arms where she belonged and would be safe. It didn't take long for her to still herself. "You don't either."

Without letting go of each other, they began feeling their way through the rest of the hallway, into the bedroom until Neru's legs hit the side of Haku's bed. Slowly, she eased onto her back beneath her, wincing slightly. They peeled off her clothes for the second time that night, and with her embarrassed haze lifted, Haku finally saw all the bruises dotting her body, skin mottled by stranger's mouths. Neru squirmed with shame under her stare, looking positively small, tender. Haku bit her lip, imagining Neru alone with some strange man, moaning beneath him, cringing beneath him as he ravaged her body, Neru too proud to end it.

Haku had believed herself to be the lonely one. But maybe it was really Neru, who spent her time with strangers and came home to someone who was too flustered, to ask about or acknowledge how crazy it was getting, how she was quietly begging for help the entire time.

As if Haku didn't even care.

She pressed her lips to Neru's skin over and over, finding every bruise, every tender spot, each hickey, simply kissing it and cherishing the soft nuances of her body. Some were small, some weren't, some were old, some were fresh. They couldn't all have been from the same person. When Neru whimpered softly, she stopped briefly.

"Is this...too much?"

"No." Neru said quickly, squeezing fresh tears from her eyes, a relieved smile on her lips. "It's...just different."

It occurred to Haku that she'd never had it so gentle. She hadn't seen her smile like that in too long a time; it was so overwhelmingly beautiful that Haku felt herself getting misty-eyed all over again and had to wipe her tears on her sweater sleeve with a sniff. A soft laugh escaped her throat as Neru grasped the hem of the thick fabric, pulling it overhead and helping undress her again like before, except it was not like before, because it was just them and it was okay.

"Well..." Haku pressed a playful kiss to Neru's cheek as she lay against her, nuzzling her neck and breathing in her scent blissfully, "...nothing wrong with a little experimentation, right?"

**A/N: **This one took me such a long time! I was totally pulling out my hair over the ending. I had multiple things in mind but I wasn't happy until it was just right. XD I wanted to try a Neru/Haku with a slightly different flavor to it. I hope you enjoyed it, thank you so much for reading and I always appreciate reviews~!


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